Thursday, November 03, 2011


At the age of almost 62, I have finally had enough.

I feel confident that if my friends were to read this post, they'd recognize themselves at once. However, nobody reads this blog at all, so it seems the fitting place to vent and rant.

I love my friends dearly; however, after years of their crossing the line, I have decided to release those toxic friendships that cause more grief than good.

It is no secret that I smoke and am overweight. I’ve smoked for many years, and have been overweight basically since 2nd grade. These truths do not come as a shock to me!

It is unclear where my “friends” get the right to constantly criticize me. One decided that I wasn’t answering the phone on purpose (even when she called during my dad’s funeral service) and then said, “hope you have a good life,” and proceeded to continue to call. She had trouble understanding why her calls were no longer answered or returned. One toxic relationship down.

Another constantly has problems with my smoking. They called while I was on the computer playing a mindless game – then chastised me for continuing to play while talking. I am NOT a 12 year-old kid who needs their behavior corrected. THIS is who I am, and if you don’t like it, fine. Don’t. Many other people don’t have a problem with it.

Another constantly has problems with my weight. They decided that I need to go on a diet and then informed me that they “expect to see me lose 10 pounds a month!” Again – not your business. Nor is the volume on my TV, my hearing, how I choose to spend or not spend my money, the amount of time I spend on the computer per day, whether or not I wear make up, my sleeping habits, the length, color, and cut of my hair and so on.

For years - most of my life, in fact - I have smiled, taken the criticism, seemly laughed it off over and over again for countless times. But in all honesty, your words hurt me deeply. I have very strong emotions, and deep feelings. I often think after the fact, "oh, I should have said . . .," but never do - why can't people just celebrate the person I am instead of trying to constantly fix me? So, from now on, unless you’re willing to move in, keep me occupied and entertained, buy food and cook for me, etcetera, leave my habits alone!!

My ex-husband spent 12 years attacking any self-esteem I had. All my life people have chipped away at that little self-esteem to the point that I now am weighted down with self-loathing and depression. That is no way to live.

I am a good, caring, kind, creative, wonderful person who is precisely who she is meant to be. I am fine just as is. If there is something I choose to change, I will. Otherwise, you can get used to me as I am, or leave me alone to make new, more accepting friends.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Way to go. I am tired of snarky remarks wrapped in "caring" comments. I have only one friend who never does that, and I appreciate her. This friend has, in her late 40s, decided to grow her hair very long and wear pigtails. I figure that is her business (and maybe she is working something out from her childhood by doing this) and I say nothing. She is happy doing this, and I am happy for her. Why do people think they have the right to drag their muddy boots inside someone else's front door anyway? We are our castle. If someone else finds that castle lacking, someone else has the problem. As the young ones say, "YOU GO GIRL!!!"