First buy an expensive chain saw. Chop into small-ish pieces. Leave strewn all over yard. Borrow a few plastic trash cans. Fill with debris. Scrape off several knuckles and gouge out large chunks of your hands. Cuss. Scratch everywhere between your fingertips and shoulders with branches. Cuss a lot. Spent two days doing this . . . cussing all the while. Take a look at the yard. Realize you are not making even a tiny dent in the debris. Cuss a whole bunch.
Have a son who comes up work a workable solution. Go to several stores and try to buy a firepit (a summer goodie) on the 27th of December. Succeed in finding ones for nearly $200. Cuss some more. Admit defeat, then try one more store - what the heck, it's already getting dark. Find a cheap firepit, in a new box, at a very reasonable price. Take home, smiling all the way. Let son assemble while you prepare dinner. Invite a friendly firebug friend to join you (knowing you are both firebugs, too). Have dinner, and spend six hours burning storm debris, toasting marshmallows, and making s'mores!
Pictures . . . .
We did have a bit of trouble lighting the thing - but about a quart of lamp oil seemed to do the trick when dry leaves were at a premium . . . we had a nice little blaze and managed to go through quite a bit of the pieces of wood!
UPDATE: Today the yard man came and started raking up leaves and carting off branches - otherwise known as "firepit fuel." There are HUGE piles all over the back yard, the gutters were cleaned for the first time in three years, and by tomorrow evening, everything will be carted away! Hurray! But the most amazing thing was that - even after over 14 hours - the firepit still had a big pile of burning embers!!!